By: Jacqueline Penhos 1/24/2026
It all started five years ago. I received a call from my friend — my “play sister” — informing me that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I’ll never forget that feeling; it was sickeningly similar to the one I had when I found out, also via phone, that my father had passed away.
WTF.
This article isn’t about phone etiquette. It’s about Breast Health, Cancer Awareness, and how we can all do better — as women, and as the people who love and support them.
My dear mother is an extremely private person. She didn’t tell a soul when she was diagnosed. When she finally did, I was the absolute last to know. There is nothing worse than finding out your mother has breast cancer, except maybe being the last person in your family to know because they thought you “couldn’t handle it.” That feeling of isolation and powerlessness is exactly what we need to fight.
The Mammogram Reality: Fighting Fear with Fact
I am writing this piece because today I had my second mammogram. I kept postponing the appointment. I was moments from canceling it. You might be thinking that’s ignorant, especially given my family history. I want to thank my Partner for talking me into making the appointment and LOVINGLY being there today.
But a mammogram? It feels like one of the most frightening procedures. The anxiety starts days before: the scheduling, the waiting, the cold machine, the uncomfortable compression. The fear of that brief, strange discomfort is often less powerful than the fear of the result — and that fear almost won.
We have to acknowledge that it’s not pleasant. But that 15 minutes of discomfort is currently the single best defense we have for early detection. The data is clear: when breast cancer is found in a localized stage (before it has spread), the five-year survival rate is an incredible 99%. That simple test can mean the difference between life and a far more difficult treatment journey.
Taking Control: The Three Pillars of Breast Health
My family’s silence during my mother’s diagnosis showed me that fear and privacy can isolate us. Our response must be to arm ourselves with knowledge and take proactive control. This is the playbook for better breast health:
1. The Self-Exam: Know Your Normal
This isn’t about being a medical expert; it’s about familiarity. Check yourself monthly. Pay attention to how your breasts normally feel. Report any change to your doctor immediately — a lump, swelling, dimpling, nipple discharge, or persistent pain. If you know what’s normal, you’ll spot what’s not.
2. The Clinical Breast Exam: The Professional Look
Your doctor, OB/GYN, or nurse practitioner should perform a physical breast exam annually. This is a trained professional checking for any abnormalities that you might have missed. It’s a key backup to your own self-checks.
3. The Screening: The Imaging
This is the big one. Talk to your doctor to determine the right schedule for you, especially if you have a family history like mine. General guidelines from the American Cancer Society recommend:
- Age 40–44: You have the option to start annual screening.
- Age 45–54: Annual mammograms are strongly recommended.
- Age 55+: You can switch to every two years, or continue annually.
If you have a close relative (mother, sister, daughter) diagnosed with breast cancer, you should be talking to your doctor about starting screenings earlier than the standard age. Don’t wait as long as I did!
Beyond the Test: Reducing Risk
While we can’t change our genetics, we can make choices every day that reduce our risk. Prioritize controllable factors in your life:
- Maintain a healthy weight throughout your life.
- Be physically active with regular exercise.
- Limit alcohol consumption.
The Emotional Call-to-Action
I walked out of that second mammogram today feeling a lot of things, but the strongest was relief. Relief that I showed up for myself. Relief that I faced the fear.
We cannot let fear or the expectation of stoic privacy isolate us or make us complacent. We must talk about this. We must book the appointment. We must show up for ourselves and for the women we love.
Don’t wait for a life-altering phone call to be your wake-up call. Now, it’s your turn. Book the appointment.
Breast Health is Mental Health.
